We interrupt this blog to bring you a foreclosure

    I need to share this with you, it has me very frustrated. I had to attend a seminar today that gave information on how to use NACA to help me avoid losing my home due to unfair mortgage practices such as predatory lending and adjustable interest rates.
    I wonder sometimes how did I get here? What could I have done differently? First, I could have been more educated on loans and mortgages. I really knew nothing about how they work, and I believe my lender knew this. My mortgage was a no income verification loan. When we got it, we were doing okay financially, however that changed one year due to an illness and a major flare up of my JRA (juvenille rheumatoid arthritis). We had hope eventally we would end up in a better financial position, but we did not. Things had been very tight, robbing Peter to pay Paul.
    A little over a year ago, my husband stopped giving me the bank account number so I could send them thier payments when we could afford to pay. I should have put my foot down then, however the church I was attending at the time told me to just pray more, submit more, respect him more and pray about where I was falling short.
   I tried to work with the mortgage company but to no avail. I was working, however what I was making wasn't enough to send the payment out of my own check. As of today, I am almost a year behind, I cannot pay them because what I do make at my job barely keeps the lights on and food on the table.
    Could I have done more to rectify the situation? Maybe, maybe not. But that is water under the bridge, and while I am doing the best I can right now, it still doesn't seem like enough. His leaving left a wake of carnage in my life, to which he feels no responsibility. I struggle with forgiveness, I have to remind myself everyday that just as I have been forgiven, I also must forgive. How difficult it is though when that carnage is staring you in the face every day.

Welcome to my blog...

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. The purpose in starting this blog is to give me an outlet for what I am going through at this point in my life. I hope that others can share their experiences, strength ad hope if they have gone through this journey, which I will share more about later. I will also be writing about other things that take up space in my mind. Just a side note; I will be using my nickname and initials to protect other’s privacy.
I am a 38 yr old mother of a 19 yr old son. I am a devout christian. I am also going through a divorce, not of my choosing. My husband of 16 yrs left me back in August of 2009, much to my shock and amazement. I knew that things were not great between us. We had communication issues and financial issues. But never did I think he would come home from work one day and tell me he was leaving, especially after he had told me a few weeks earlier that he told someone we were doing okay.
Shortly after he left I discovered he had started drinking again and smoking marijuana behind my back. I was not surprised, as a wife we have that intuition that something just isn’t right, but we can’t quite put our finger on it. Friends of ours had know this, but didn’t tell me because, as they say, “they didn’t know how”. As you can imagine, I felt humiliated. I felt  stupid because I was his wife, I should have known.
About a month after he left, I was sitting at my computer, having a coffee and puttering around on the net. I see a vehicle pull up and someone in the passenger side lean over for a few seconds, and then get out. That man was my husband. I put two and two together and when he got to the door, I asked him who it was. He told me and I asked if he was seeing her. He said yes. You cannot begin to imagine the grief, humiliation and anger that came over me. How could he have his mistress drop him off in front of the house we shared for years?
There is much more to the story. I want to share this because in many churches today, divorce is seen as the ultimate sin. I do not believe it is, and I will write about that later. I welcome your comments as I walk through this journey with God by my side. However, to make it perfectly clear, I will not accept comments about divorce is sin, comments about divorce and remarriage being adultery, how God hates divorce.  But that is also a discussion for another time. This place is for encouragement and support, I intent to keep it that way.